Trying to decide what to do.

Ok so here’s the deal.  For the past 6 1/2 years I have been self employed working a contact delivering The New York Times 6 days a week, just over two years ago I started looking for a new job because I noticed month to month I was slowly loosing money.  In all that time I’ve had one interview and I’m getting desperate.  I’m miserable where I am right now, I’m under stress constantly and I’ve even had to use sleeping pills just to get to sleep due to my stress.  I’ve looked at trying to reinvent my business but at this point the only thing I can really seeing doing (online sales and marketing) will take at least two years at best to become profitable enough to live on.

So here’s the deal, the Walmart my girlfriend and I always go to has a sign up that they are hiring for multiple positions and I’m thinking about applying.  My big hang up is that it feels like I’m giving up on my business for minimum wage, and that all the work I’ve put in for over 6 years will be for nothing.  Don’t get me wrong I don’t think I’m above working at Walmart, some of the people I look up to in my life have worked at Walmart at one time or another in their life, it’s just that I don’t want to give up my business even though it’s failing and dragging me down.

I do plan on keeping my business going but it will be a side project for a while, as I said I don’t see it making enough to live off of for at least two years at best.  I the mean time I need something that pays, I’ve got bills going up, I’d like to move in with my girlfriend soon and I don’t make enough to pay rent right now so I’m living with my mom rent free (thanks mom!), and I know I can’t keep this going the way it is for much longer anyway.  I guess I’m just looking for a little push to go ahead and apply, someone from a neutral position telling me there is no shame in admitting defeat, that 95% of small businesses fail, just get the job and get a stable income and reinvent your business without the worry of making it profitable right away, leave some remove for failure just in case.  And of course end it all with a Drill Sergeant like “GET OFF YOUR TAIL AND APPLY MAGGOT!”