Why open relationships don't normally work.

I’ve known a few couples in open relationships and with the exception of one couple it has always ended badly.  The one couple that is the exception I haven’t talked to in over a year and they had just gotten over a rough spot that was caused by being in an open relationship, so I can’t even tell you if their still together though I think if they had divorced I would have gotten a call from the wife.  Now it is true that some couples can make it work long term, and while these couples are rare they are out there, and from what I’ve seen and read the only way it seems to work is if you go into the relationship with both partners knowing upfront that it’s open.

So why do so many couples who think they want an open relationship fail to make to work?  First is jealousy, this is both the most obvious reason and the most common reason.  At first both partners will think it’s a great idea and be on board, but then after one or both partners start seeing other people one will get jealous of the other and that person may try to hide his or her jealousy because he/she agreed to this.

Second, falling in love with someone else.  As time goes on one or both partners in the relationship sometimes start to find themselves having stronger feelings for one of the other partners and start to drift away from the partner that they are in the relationship with.  This can lead to people being hurt, relationships being ended, possibly a family being torn apart in the worst case scenario.

As a side note, having one of your partners be a friend that you already have feelings for and they may already have feeling for you is a guaranteed disaster waiting to happen.  Once you get intimate those feelings you have towards each other will only intensify and cause trouble for the relationship your already in and committed to.

Third agreeing to an open relationship to make the other person happy.  Some times when one partner will ask for an open relationship and say I just need more than you can give me, or something to that effect, the other partner will agree to try and make the person he/she loves happy.  This is a recipe for disaster, while the person who asked for the open relationship is out having fun the other partner will resent him/her and bury those feelings because they think this is what they have to do to make the person they love happy.  But the feelings won’t go away, it will just grow and grow until it’s too late and nothing can fix what has been broken.  Both partners have to actually want an open relationship, otherwise it could lead to the whole relationship coming to a bitter end.

The biggest mistake you can make is asking for an open relationship if you think your parter is cheating on you and you just don’t want to face it.  If you think they are cheating on you then you should confront it, not give in to it.  Realize that if they really loved you they wouldn’t be cheating on you, once you realize that you can move on and find someone who actually loves you.  Don’t let the amount of time you’ve been together, or the fact that you’re married, or if you have a child together be what keeps you there, understand they don’t love you or care about you and move on to someone who will.  If you give in to an open relationship just to keep what you have with a cheater, you’ll never truly be happy, in the back of your mind you’ll always know they cheated and didn’t care about you.  This is the worst possible reason for having an open relationship, never go into one for this reason.

I’ll post some links to sites dealing with open relationships below so you can see the ups and the downs of this form of relationship and be able to make a better decision about how you want to move forward if your thinking about trying an open relationship.

What would I suggest if you decide that an open relationship is the wrong choice for you and your partner?  Well first you should sit down together and talk about what you both need, and then do your best to make sure your satisfying your partners needs.  Keep the lines of communication open, if your unhappy or feel your giving but not getting anything in return, let your partner know, no one can read minds no matter how much you want them to, you have to speak up!  Do you have a child?  Or children?  The younger they are the most likely they are to get in the way of your relationship, talk to the grandparents or trusted friends and ask if they could take the kid(s) for one night a week so you can have time alone to focus on each other.

Remember make sure what ever your choice that it’s the right choice for both of you, if it’s only the right choice for one of you then that means it’s the wrong choice for one of you as well.

Do Open Relationships Work? – Men’s Fitness

The Lust Frontier: Why Can’t We Make Open Relationships Work?

Do Open Relationships Work? | Psychology Today

Open Relationships Aren’t For Everyone | Thought Catalog

15 Open Relationship Rules for a Better Love Life – Lovepanky


I just finished watching the film Goon and I have to say it was damn good!  The fact that is loosely based on a true story makes it even better.  Seann William Scott play his part of the lovable yet dimwitted enforcer perfectly, Liew Schreiber is the past his prime enforcer, grumpy old man and plays the part perfectly.  The story was good and kept me engaged, and had the perfect amount of ups and downs to really draw you into the story and make you want to see how it ends.  This was just a great film and I now regret having put off watching it for so long, if you haven’t seem it give it a shot, just put the kids to bed first!

BTW special nod to Kim Coates as the coach, I don’t know why but even thing I see him in I like, I may not like the film but his character I will always like.  He’s just an amazing actor.
“I’m scared to death, and totally hard” – Tig

Tig always has the best lines!


Well I watched Lockout and I was pleasantly surprised.  I went into this film half wanting to see it and half not want to see it, but once it came up on Netflix Instant I gave it a shot since I wouldn’t be out more than a little time and bandwidth.  The film is a little cheesy while still being somewhat believable, albeit totally over the top.

The story was decent and was able to hold my attention, though if I gave it a second viewing it would most likely be fairly boring.  It had some decent surprises throughout yet never anything too surprising.  The acting was actually very good, Guy Pearce, Maggie Grace, and Peter Stormare were perfectly cast for their roles, though I wished Peter Stormare had a bigger role he can add so much more to a film with his amazing talent.  Also the CGI was great.

The things I didn’t like about this film were some of the little things that most people probably wouldn’t pick up on, things like the fact that in 2076 they are still using smart phones that look exactly like the smart phones we have today.  Also they built a massive prison in orbit around the earth that can hold thousands of maximum security inmates and looks to be as tall as a sky scraper and yet the International Space Station is still in orbit and is the same size that it is today.  Side note the ISS is scheduled to be shut down de-orbited around 2020, so it wouldn’t even be there in 2076.

Now this part doesn’t really bother me, I’d just like to point it out, there are some obvious references to Escape from New York & Escape from L.A., not that it’s a bad thing, I just wanted to point it out.  Let’s see if this sounds familiar, former good guy gone bad get’s caught and is offered a deal to save the President’s daughter in a maximum security prison that the prisoners can’t escape.  He takes the mission, get’s wounded, proves to the President’s daughter that under his tough guy he had a heart, then rescues her a second time after she gets herself caught, then get’s the both of them to safety and get’s a full pardon.  Then we find out that he’s got what they wanted all along and instead of turning it over he walks away with it.  Basically the film is a mash up of Escape form NY & L.A. in space.  Even with the running jokes and bad one liners.  Yet I won’t say it’s a bad film, it’s worth a one time watch.  So I say give it a shot, if you’ve got some time to kill sit back and watch, if your a Snake Plissken fan then you might just enjoy this film.


Well I just finished the film Supercapitalist and I’m proud of myself because this film was terrible!  Basically this is just Wall Street mixed with frat boys and it all takes place at a hedge fund in Hong Kong.  This was nothing but a dull film that’s on par with a “don’t do drugs” school play.  This film was so boring that it makes an advanced accounting class look like a Rammstein concert.  The story was horrible and poorly written, and those two combined just made this hard to watch.  The acting was sub-par at best, and I really think I’m being nice here.  Over all it’s a total flop, and a definite “avoid at all costs” film.

Space Shuttle Discovery – 360 Images

This is a fun way to look into the Space Shuttle Discovery’s cockpit, it’s a 360 degree shot that you can pan around all over, look side to side, up down, ALL OVER.  I grew up in corporate aviation and inside corporate jets and I thought they had a lot of panels and switches….then I saw this.  The mere fact that astronauts have to learn every switch and button in there should amaze you.  So take a minute and check it out, and if you have a young one around who’s interested in space load up this page sit them down and let them enjoy!

P.S. when you first go to the page it auto rotates, just let it go and sit back and be amazed, then scroll around.  And don’t forget to look up, a lot more to see above you!

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

Well I just finished watching Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter and having read the book first I will tell you the story of the film just a closely as the film told the story in the book:

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter tell’s the story of Abraham Lincoln, a wayward cyborg in her mid teens who is elected president of alpha centauri after a long life of hunting mordacks all over the universe.  Then he joins rings with her twin and morfs into a dog to roam the bottom of the sea forever.

My description of the film is as close to the film as the film is to the book.  Seriously only 2% of this film bared any resemblance to the book, it was total shit.  I can understand omitting a few things to make the film flow smoothly but this had nothing to do with the book!  Which is sad because the book was great, it’s something I could read several times and enjoy every time, but this film I will never suffer though again.

Avoid this film at all costs!  Just read the book and enjoy it.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Well I just finished this piece of trash and I think I’m being nice when I call it trash.  This was horrible, so horrible that it makes the first one look like film of the year by comparison!  The acting was bad, and a special mention for Nicolas Cage for his bad acting which was basically just insane and totally random.  The script was atrocious, the story was just bad, and the CGI was very poorly done.  If your a fan of the first Ghost Rider which was a decent film, then may I suggest not watching this film, it will ruin the first one for you because you’ll never watch Ghost Rider the same again knowing that this turd is out there.

To sum it up Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance was a poorly made sequel just trying to cash in on the success of Ghost Rider, and in doing so has severally damaged the Ghost Rider film brand.

Suggestions for TWiT to Leo Laporte

First of all let me say that I love the TWiT Network, I listen to several shows while I’m driving 3-4 hours every night, and I watch Know How every week and TNT every day.  In fact those two shows are the only reason I keep my Roku hooked up, I don’t use it for anything else.  Now that I’ve got that out of the way I’ll get to the point, please don’t take anything personally, these are just my suggestions.

  • Know How – I was a fan of Iyaz‘s show This Old Nerd and was thrilled when you announced Know How since I enjoyed This Old Nerd so much, but I do think there is one problem with the show, and please don’t take this the wrong way but Leo, it’s you.  I know your trying to help and explain everything that Iyaz is saying but when you chime in it throws me off and distracts me from what the project is.  Episode #16 with Iyaz and Tom was much easier to follow, I love you Leo but maybe Tom should take over for you on this one.
  • Sarah Lane – She has enough on her plate as is and could use a break, now that you have Shannon Morse let Sarah off TNT and replace her with Shannon, then Sarah can focus on her other shows and Shannon can become more well known to the audience though TNT.  Sarah seems tired and could use a break, not having to do a daily show five days a week would give her time to prepare for her other shows.
  • Apple – Um just Tone it down a bit, I understand everyone at TWiT are Apple fan boys but I know Apple fan boys, who watch the network, who think it gets old.  Look I’m the first to admit, I’m a Google fan boy and proud of it, and I understand that for some reason people love Apple and I’m fine with that, but it’s hard to go five minutes without hearing about Apple on almost any of the shows(Security Now & NSFW are the exceptions), even during discussions that don’t relate to Apple some how Apple comes up.  It’s just a little much is all I’m trying to say, Apple isn’t the center of the universe. (and no neither is Google, I wouldn’t want to hear about them as much either)

NSFW / Security Now / TWiG – These a perfect just the way they are and are some of my favorite shows, don’t change a thing here!

So Leo there you have it, I hope you haven’t been offended by my suggestions since that was not my intent with any of this, I kind of look up to you and hope to own an online network some day, so I would hate to think I offended you in any way.  My intent here was just to try and make the network better, never to offend.  As always it’s your baby and you will do what you think is best, I just wanted to put this out there.  Keep up the great work, may the TWiT Network out live us all, and enjoy your cruise, you deserve a real break, not just a Madonna concert short break.